Adoption Books with Great Art: You Are Special, You Were Chosen

Posted on March 22, 2009 by Pam Connell

You Are Special; You Were Chosen is a sweet little book which grew out of the bedtime story that the author’s father read to her each night. Its soft, detailed colored pencil/pastel illustrations definitely qualify it for my Adoption Books with Great Art series. The lovely pictures show diverse children and families, including siblings of different races, which I really appreciate, as that is something I have a hard time finding. Books featuring a multiracial classroom are becoming common, as are books featuring families of color—but multiracial families are still difficult to find. I almost bought a book the other … Continue reading →

Reassurance is a Skill

Posted on May 29, 2007 by Kori Rodley Irons

I think that the ability to reassure our children is one of the most oft-used and important skills in parenting–and, I do think it is a skill that can be practiced and nurtured. We start out with our tiny babies, needing to instill confidence and let them know that we will be there to meet their needs and look after them whatever arises–BUT, as our children grow and head out into the world, it is often our reassurance that keeps them moving forward and fosters their resiliency. Reassuring our child means letting him know that we have confidence that everything … Continue reading →

Love You Forever–Reassuring Your Adopted Child

Posted on April 12, 2007 by Pam Connell

“I want to go bye-bye!” my four-year-old sobs. This has become her standard response to being reprimanded. I usually tell her she can go to her room. Then I make sure to add, “We’ll be here when you’re ready.” There is nothing particularly unusual about this, of course. It would be wrong to assume adoption is the primary cause of every emotion my daughters have. However, many adoptive parents and adoption professionals report that adopted children often experience insecurity and fear of abandonment. The last few times my daughter has wanted to go bye-bye, I tell her, “I would come … Continue reading →

Can Holding Hands with your Husband Reduce Anxiety?

Posted on January 29, 2007 by Sherry Holetzky

Many women and men enjoy holding hands just as a form of affection, but most of us also realize that it can be a great source of comfort. However, a fairly new study indicates that when a woman holds her husband’s hand when confronted with a fearful or stressful situation, doing so can literally reduce her anxiety. It actually shows up on brain scans! It was a limited study, observing sixteen couples, conducted by Dr. James Coan this past December. Dr. Coan is a neuroscientist with the University of Virginia. His study is titled “Lending a Hand: Social Regulation of … Continue reading →

Reassuring a Child After Divorce

Posted on January 5, 2007 by Renee Dietz

I will never forget when my own parents divorced. My mom and dad had been married for 36 years when my mom left. I was 15 at the time and I distinctively remember feeling as if it were my entire fault. After all, it seemed that in the months leading up to her leaving, I heard them fighting – about me. I realize now as an adult that they were not actually fighting about me but over me. Regardless, many children, even those without fighting parents, go through a phase where they feel guilty, as if they had some kind … Continue reading →

Does This Make Me Look Fat?

Posted on August 16, 2006 by Sherry Holetzky

Every man knows -or will no doubt quickly learn- that there is no good answer to the question, “Does this make me look fat?” If your wife asks you this question, the best advice is to avoid a yes or no answer at all costs, and say something positive. If you say yes, you are in deep trouble. If you say no, she most likely won’t believe you anyway. What is it that drives women to put our husbands in this position? Frankly, it is usually insecurity that is the root of the problem, and this insecurity drives us to … Continue reading →