Tag Archives: resiliency

“I’m Trying!” (When They Really Are)

Recently one of my kids has been going through a tough time—all of the changes and transitions that she is going through right now have really thrown her into a tailspin. As I encourage and urge her and try to let her know that she really is doing fabulously as she works through all of these changes, she often answers with the gloomy, “I’m trying.” The fact is, even if she doesn’t see the results yet, she really is trying and that is all anyone can ask of her anyway! As parents, we can support our kids when they are … Continue reading →

Acceptance Comes Before Change

Resistance and Denial can be a single parent’s best friends–at least in the beginning. After a while, we realize that all this fighting and resisting we are doing, and all the energy we put into denial may be better spent elsewhere. At some point, the day comes when we realize that acceptance is really the first step before we can make room for real change. When I say “acceptance” I do not mean giving up and giving in. Acceptance is really about ceasing to resist reality and admitting that what is, is. Think of it this way, if you get … Continue reading →

Does Your Family Pull Together or Fall Apart During Crisis?

One of the signs of a strong family is how the family unit reacts to stress, tension and crisis as a group. When something tough happens (a move, death, etc.) does your family come together or does everyone head off in their own directions? Of course, there is no such thing as a perfect family and we all do things differently. I have a friend who feels as though she came from an incredibly strong family and as she described it: “We hollered and yelled and said horrible things to each other but then we always apologized and came together … Continue reading →

A Sense of Humor

We talk about all sorts of techniques and coping mechanisms and suggestions for how to make single parenthood a more peaceful and pleasurable experience. But, hands down the most important thing to cultivate, I think, is a sense of humor. Just because we may be keeping a dozen balls in the air and coping with some of the stigma and exhaustion that comes with being a solo parent doesn’t mean we don’t need a sense of humor too. In fact, I think all this is all the more reason we NEED a sense of humor! My kids and I have … Continue reading →

Learning to Laugh at Ourselves

There is a difference between teasing, picking on someone, making fun of them, and just learning to not take things so seriously. We can help our kids develop a sense of humor and learn how to laugh at themselves–not by teasing and poking fun at them, but by modeling our own ability to laugh at ourselves and helping them to appreciate the silliness and humor in every day life. I do not think that people are born with a sense of humor. How’s that for a dramatic statement? I think it is something that is learned and shaped over the … Continue reading →

Introducing Something New

Consistency is at the root of good parenting, but it’s often necessary for us to introduce new ideas, or make schedule changes, or just help our kids adjust to life’s inevitable changes. Some children are much more resilient and take to new things better than others. In my own family of three children, I have one who is very reluctant to ever make changes and try new things, and is definitely NOT keen on adjustment. Over the years, I’ve had to learn some “tricks” regarding introducing new things, and develop a great deal of patience for the pace and needs … Continue reading →

Encouraging Children to Take Risks

In modern life, we parents put a great deal of energy into keeping our children safe. We have all sorts of laws and “best practices” that teach our children what an unsafe and precarious world they live in. We can spend so much time not only trying to keep our children safe, but also at making sure they feel confident and successful that we may not remember how important taking risks and actually “trying” is to building self esteem and confidence too. Children who learn to take risks and move out of their comfort zones, develop into more resilient, creative, … Continue reading →

Modeling Resiliency

Resiliency seems to be the quality that is the best indication of how happy and and “well-adjusted” our kids turn out to be–not education, or advantages or how early they meet all the developmental milestones. While some people just seem to be more resilient than others, I believe there are things we can do to help foster resiliency in our kids–and it starts with developing resiliency in ourselves as parents. I tell my kids that life isn’t about what happens–whether it’s to you or around you, it’s really about how you react. But talking is only one piece of the … Continue reading →