Tag Archives: self confidence

Where is Your Confidence?

Everyday people place their confidence in things. For example when we cross a bridge we have confidence it will hold up and not fall down. Everyday we put confidence in people. Children place their confidence in their parents. As they get older they might place confidence in their peers or in pop stars or sports stars. And young people are often told they need to have confidence in themselves. But the truth is that many of these things and people we place our confidence in let us down. So what can we rely on? The only safe place for our … Continue reading →

What Stops You from Talking to Someone

What stops you from talking to someone at church, a party of some other social gathering? We’ve been looking at this question in the forum recently. I had two incidents recently, where I tried to be friendly and the other person shut the conversation effectively down by their one word or terse answer. In each case I ended up feeling foolish for even trying to be friendly and initiate conversation. One was a complete stranger I tried to talk to at a party. Her sharp reply and the look she gave me made me fee like a bug under her … Continue reading →

Sometimes, Dressing Up Helps

I am the first person to confess that one of the pleasures of working from home for me is to be able to work in my robe, my sweats or my pajamas. On the other hand, there are times when getting dressed up and doing things in a more “traditional” way is a boost to my business… I am not in a particularly “dressy” industry. I write, and when I am not writing or doing public relations work for businesses, I work as a meeting and conference planner. Even my planning work is really done mostly in jeans and sweaters. … Continue reading →

Letting Kids Win

When I was a kid, I was definitely raised in a world where grown-ups had to be in charge. I can even remember playing marbles with my great-grandmother and she would beat us every time–without giving an inch, she would play to win. Between competition and the need for grown-ups to have the last word, a child can start to feel rather stubborn and rebellious in trying to feel empowered. You might notice that a big part of what is going on with stubborn toddlers is that they are trying to get some control and power in their lives. I … Continue reading →

Treated Well in Front of the Kids

I was reading a parenting book recently and it was very focused on the “traditional” two-parent home. One of the things the author stressed was how important and wonderful it is for children to see two adults who respect and love each other treat each other well in front of the kids. I couldn’t help but internalize some of this and mull it over from my single parent’s perspective. Not only would it be great if my kids could have seen me “treated well”—I wouldn’t have minded a little of that myself. In truth, it was the years of marriage … Continue reading →

Independence Can Be Addictive

I was talking with a friend recently and she asked me if I saw myself as being able to ever “partner” or share my life with someone again after flying solo all these years. While I started to feel a little put out or offended for a minute, I then realized that it was a decent question and something worth thinking about. I would like to think that I am not unlovable or someone who is destined to spend my life alone—but on the other hand, I HAVE grown incredibly used to independence and flying solo on all major and … Continue reading →

The More “Good Stuff” You Can Pass On, the Better

Even though we cannot expect our children to be clones of ourselves, and they certainly will not take on our personality, all of our dreams, and our values–we can pass on skills and life knowledge that can better enable them to take care of themselves and achieve the independence we both desire. You have heard the old saying about teaching a man to fish (as being far more useful than just giving a man a handout of fish that you’ve caught) and I think this is a perfect guideline for parenting. Sure, our kids might learn things even if we … Continue reading →

Challenge Yourself to Be a Great Parent

I don’t go in for perfection, or for beating ourselves up for what we are NOT—but I do find that as a single parent, challenging myself to be a loving, attentive, and involved parent has got me through some pretty rugged and rocky times. So often, I think, single parents are just “getting by” and we get caught up in the details of daily living—but focusing on improving our parenting skills and being a great parent can take us out of our own heads and troubles and put the focus on our families. There is a myth out there that … Continue reading →

Trust Yourself

I think there are no other two words that a single parent needs to hear than “trust yourself”—we get advice and judgment coming at us from every direction. There are books, articles, talk shows, and well-meaning (and not-so-well-meaning) people who offer us all sorts of advice. For some reason, the fact that we are single parents seems to make people think that we must not know what we’re doing. Add to that the fact that our confidence may be shaken by some of the troubles and crisis we’ve endured and we may not be trusting ourselves either. The truth is, … Continue reading →

If only I weren’t married, then I would ….

Those eight little words are not positive for any married individual to be considering when they are married. After all, if only I weren’t married indicates you are seriously not thinking about being married. It also indicates a certain level of unhappiness with your marriage. Beyond That Beyond the negative implications of the phrase: if only I weren’t married, then I would … indicates a severe problem with your own level of self-confidence. The reason I stand by this is because I had that thought in my own head for about fifteen minutes once and then I spent about an … Continue reading →