Tag Archives: sexual assault

Sexual Assault: The Perpetrator, the Victim and the Representative of Justice

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In all cases of sexual assault, there is the perpetrator and the victim. In some cases, there is an introduction of a third party: the representative of justice. The latter only comes into the picture when the victim reports the crime, which according to available statistics, is in the minority. This means that most crimes of a sexual nature go unreported. This situation clearly is not good, but it gets worse. Often there is an expectation by the victim that, if they report the crime, justice will be done. This belief, while reasonable, is sadly not what the justice system … Continue reading →

Sexual Assault: Denying Your Anger at the Perpetrator

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One would expect that when a person has been sexually assaulted, the victim of the crime would be extremely angry at the perpetrator. But the act of sexual assault has such a profound effect on a person that what one might expect should happen, doesn’t necessarily happen that way at all. Take the case of Madi. Madi had been sexually assaulted by her boss of seven years. She didn’t report the incident and continued to work with him. However, within weeks of the assault she developed severe anxiety and panic attacks. It was these out-of-control feelings that drove her into … Continue reading →

Anger and Sexual Abuse (1)

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In The Guilt of Sexual Abuse we looked at the issue of guilt and how it is such a common phenomena as to be almost expected after an incident of sexual assault. Today we will look at the anger associated with this insidious crime. Anger and guilt are the flip sides of the coin of sexual abuse. They are the daily currency for many victims of sexual crimes. But while guilt often appears soon after the abusive incident, anger can take much longer to come to the surface. Guilt, that is, taking responsibility for the abuse upon yourself rather than … Continue reading →

This Week in Mental Health (Nov 5-9)

This week saw several topics covered including the guilt that accompanies sexual assault, and how to help your friend or family member through a psychotic episode. We also began an exciting new series on the effects of street drugs on mental health. Guilt is a specter that often hovers in the lives of survivors of rape and other forms of sexual assault. Yet in our article this week we looked not only at how guilt can stop a person moving forward from the assault but how victims will go to extreme lengths to protect significant others from hearing about their … Continue reading →

Sexual Assault Victims Protecting Others

I read in the weekend paper about a 45-year-old woman who had been repeatedly molested by a minister when she was a small girl. As an adult she reported the matter to the relevant church. It was covered up. Nothing was done about it. Yet this woman hesitated to go to the police. She considered it but decided not to because the minister who assaulted her was a family member and she was concerned that if it went to the police, it would become a public issue and would have an adverse effect on other members of her family. A … Continue reading →

When An Apology Is Not An Apology (2)

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Have you ever had an apology from someone who says they are sorry and then proceeds to tell you all the reasons why it wasn’t their fault? And does this qualify as an apology? Most people don’t feel quite satisfied after hearing the words “I’m sorry” followed by a list of excuses proclaiming the person’s innocence. In When An Apology Is Not An Apology (1), we looked at the case of Paul and his sister-in-law, Elise. As a lawyer, Paul had volunteered to find out for Elise the exact nature of the crimes that had occurred during her sexual assault. … Continue reading →

When An Apology Is Not An Apology (1)

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We’ve probably all experienced this: the apology that somehow doesn’t satisfy. The apology that leaves us feeling vaguely uncomfortable or even downright angry. Yet, haven’t we just received an apology? Or maybe we haven’t! An apology is supposed to be a statement of genuine remorse that acknowledges that one person has done something to offend or upset another and wants to reassure the person that they have made a mistake and will try their best not to repeat the act. For an apology to qualify as an apology, there needs to be an effective understanding of what the offended person … Continue reading →

Coping with Sexual Harassment and Assault (4)

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Jane was a victim of date rape. Sian was sexually assaulted by her boss. Both women suffered enormously from their ordeal, but the way in which they dealt with the event differed in one significant way. In this hypothetical account of two victims of sexual assault, we can learn how to deal with this ugly crime in such a way as to minimize long term negative effects. Both Jane and Sian knew the men who assaulted them. Jane had been dating her perpetrator for two months; Sian had known her boss for four years. Neither woman suspected that these men … Continue reading →

Coping with Sexual Harassment and Assault (3)

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Last blog, we looked at many of the emotions that a person encounters after a sexual assault. Guilt, anger, denial, a feeling of contamination, anxiety, depression: all combine to make the post-assault period a very stressful time. The importance of telling somebody that you trust about the assault cannot be emphasized enough. Many victims of sexual assault hide the event out of shame or fear of being thought that they brought the incident on by their own behaviors. In some cases, this is a legitimate fear. Although there is no shame in having been sexually assaulted (remember, the real shame … Continue reading →

Coping with Sexual Harassment and Assault (2)

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Sexual assault cuts across gender and racial boundaries causing distress to both sufferers and their loved ones. When sexual assault occurs, it often turns the life of the victim upside down as they struggle to deal with a raft of mixed emotions. Unfortunately, it is hard to prepare yourself for many of life’s more difficult challenges, but having knowledge about what happens on a psychological basis after an assault and ways to deal with the aftermath can go a long way to helping ourselves and others deal with this all-too-common crime. Statistics show that, for females, the highest rate of … Continue reading →