Tag Archives: sexual violence awareness month

Was Sexual Violence Awareness Month Successful at Families.com?

As Sexual Violence Awareness Month in Queensland draws to month’s end, so too does my incessant blogging on focused issues of a sexually abusive nature. Despite this culmination of focus, I urge you all to stay vigilant and conscious of predators and their sneaky ways of operating. You may recall in The Grooming Process of a Child Sexual Predator, I highlighted that “Darkness to Light suggests that an average serial perpetrator may abuse 400 children in a lifetime”. This equates to an extremely high number of children at risk of being abused in future. None of us can be lulled … Continue reading →

A Developing Recipe for a Slice of Change

Due to personal reasons, I’ve been up since 1.15 this morning. My morning (work hours) consisted of three interviews with people affected by child sexual assault. I returned to my office to 6 calls waiting for me. Two were from the Criminal Investigation Bureau about historical sexual assault cases I’ve had involvement with over the years, one was from a Child Care Centre wanting some Protective Behavior Training, one was from the tax office (oh cringe – how I didn’t want to ring them back!) and two were from existing clients. Even the tax office was sexual assault related because … Continue reading →

For One in Three Children, the Sun Does Not Shine Every Day.

Many years ago, as a young single mother and her two children happily walked the neighborhood streets, they would practice the Japanese they were all learning. “Ichi, Ni, San, Shi, Go,” they would count together as they reached every fifth house on the street. “One, two, three, four, five.” The little girl had trouble remembering the Japanese word for “five”. Searching for something that had reason, the mother desperately tried to find a way to make “Go” stay in her daughter’s mind. A family committed to ending child abuse, the mother used a figure that had meaning to their social … Continue reading →

Disclosures of Sexual Assaults often lead to Dissociation

When somebody makes a public disclosure of a previously private abuse they are indeed extremely brave. A multitude of fears run through their mind and body: will I be believed, will I be blamed, will I be in trouble. These faulty cognitions are the result of societal constraints of allowing people to tell the truth and the powerful dynamic of control that predators use against a victim, even many, many years following the abuse. Following a disclosure, a victim frequently feels re-victimized and they are hypersensitive to other’s reactions. When support networks say nothing, it can leave the victim second-guessing … Continue reading →

Reclaim the Night: An Electronic March for Women

This is an electronic march for ALL women (you do not have to be a survivor of sexual assault to participate) to safely Reclaim our Right to Take Back the Night. Rape and sexual assault is not our fault. Why should we have to curb our natural behaviors due to fear of being hurt. It is time for predators to take responsibility: for them to have to walk with others for protection, for them to have to stay indoors at nighttime, for them to stop raping our women and children. The twenty seventh of October 2006 marks the 30th anniversary … Continue reading →

School Project Information on Sexual Assault.

Parents requesting information on sexual assault for school projects often contact me to find out where to start. When I can, I meet with the students and try to match the information supplied to their topic criteria. However, sometimes just knowing where to start finding out information about sexual assault is the best way to attack projects. It is such a scary and personal topic that many parents state that they are a little embarrassed about seeking information publicly because someone may wrongly think that either themselves, or their child, has been abused. With this in mind, I have gathered … Continue reading →

Rock Spiders and Short Eyes: Do We Need Tougher Sentencing.

It is no secret that I am a believer in truth in sentencing for child sexual offenders: pedophiles, predators, perpetrators, abusers, rock spiders, kiddie fiddlers or short eyes. Call them what you will. They all belong to a club whose mission statement is to sexually abuse our children. It is also no secret that I err on the side of caution when it comes to long-term protection of children. I subscribe to the belief that a released child sexual offender will most likely recommit sexual crimes against children. I long for the day where program statistics will convince me otherwise. … Continue reading →

I HAD NO IDEA: A Story from a Mother whose Child was Sexually Abused by a Family Member.

Thank you to Karina who has shared her personal and sad story in the most public way. Megan I have four children, three girls and one boy. My husband died suddenly and I moved towns to live with my mother and step father. My mother married my stepfather when I was in my early teens. I have five full blood sisters and a half brother to my mother’s second marriage. I would have said we were a great blended family, supportive of each other, until my daughter disclosed that my stepfather was sexually abusing her. My older girls had attended … Continue reading →

The Use of Open-Ended Questions in Finding Out About Child Sexual Abuse

Children hate the volley of questions that they get from adults. Along with all the children I’ve worked with therapeutically over the years, my own children have told me that adult questions are like Policeman questions. Charming! When I’m trying to establish rapport and build a relationship with a child, the last thing I want to sound like is a Police person. The way you frame and use your questions is the trick. While questions are useful when starting a relationship, they can also quickly stifle it. Useful questions don’t just happen; they need planning and placement in a framework … Continue reading →

How to Ask a Child if They’ve Been Sexually Abused.

The hard and awful questions of are life are usually left in the too hard basket. Parents may have an inkling that something is wrong because their child’s behavior has changed. While some parents never even consider that it could be sexual abuse, other parents (like me) worry themselves sick over the possibility of sexual abuse but most will never raise it as a possibility with their child. Sexual abuse is a hard topic to begin talking about if it has not been part of at home protective behavior discussions. Mebe’s story and early craving for someone to ask him … Continue reading →