Tag Archives: unconditional love

What is Love? Part 2

Yesterday we looked at the idea that love is shown practically in the day to day outworking of the marriage relationship. So, is it worth expending all that time and energy? Yes it is. ‘Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it…It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk everything, you risk even more,’ said Erica Jong. I have to agree. Those who aren’t prepared to risk themselves and be vulnerable for love are missing out on a lot. Real love isn’t dependant … Continue reading →

Is Love Conditional?

Do you love your spouse unconditionally? Or is love tied to how they look? One of the posts in the forum recently talked of exactly this- where the man was ‘out of love with his wife’ because of the way she looked. There was another post earlier in the year on a similar topic, where the man claimed to love his wife but did not find her attractive. Although it was from a man, women have encountered the same problem too. Sometimes it can be tied to what they do. Love is conditional upon unrealistic expectations or certain behavior. This … Continue reading →

Love is In the Air

‘Love is the air,’ with TVs, stores, magazines etc all gearing up for Valentine’s Day. Everywhere you turn hearts and flowers dominate the displays. But love is more than just a romantic notion written about by songwriters, poets, novelists and movie script writers. Love can mean different things to different people, but I read a couple of good descriptions of love in a novel I’ve been reading. One was, ‘Allowances must be made for the people we love.’ That’s what Mary Ann was talking about too in her blog about unconditional love. It doesn’t depend on what they do but … Continue reading →

You Know Your Spouse Loves You When…

Elizabeth Barrett Browning once started off a sonnet with what has perhaps become a bit of a cliched saying: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Have you ever tried to count the ways you love your spouse? Once upon a blog I wrote about something Wayne did for me that showed me he loved me, and then Jade asked: But what do you do to show him? So I answered that with another blog. While that was sort of counting the ways he loves me and I love him, lately my heart’s been waxing romantic about … Continue reading →

Unconditional Love: A Myth?

I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of unconditional love versus conditional love lately. Like the ideal of a perfect marriage, I’m now of the opinion that pure unconditional love doesn’t exist either. I don’t think humans are capable of that. I think some pets come close. They forgive us most trespasses and don’t shun us just because we age, gain a few pounds, lose our jobs, drink or smoke too much, or whatever other vice, hardship, or trouble we may suffer, encounter, or endure. But even pets have their limits. Just like people in relationships, they rely on … Continue reading →

It is About WHO They Are, Not WHAT They Do

As a parent, it is tough NOT to focus on what our children do—their activities, their behaviors, their grades—all of those outward and external elements that the world and society tend to judge people on. Our children need us to see beyond all of those externally validating and measurement tools, however, and love and appreciate for them for who they are—not what they do… It can seem like a parenting paradox—we are expected to hone in and try to shape our children’s behaviors; we want them to do well in school and get involved in extra-curricular activities because it is … Continue reading →

You Can Count on Me

There are so many messages we parents want to impart to our children—many of us set out with very clear ideas about the sort of parents we want to be from the very beginning, while others of us figure out our parenting personae as we go along. With all the tasks and trials of parenting to worry over, I do think if we send them no other message, the message of unconditional love and support is the most important. I realized a year and a half or so ago, when my middle daughter was going through a rough time that … Continue reading →

The Ways to Say I Love You

Saying I love you can be done in more ways that just whispering the words. Saying you love someone is a verbal expression, but we express our feelings and our thoughts in the non-verbal as much if not more than the verbal all the time. Here are five ways to say I love you that reveals how you are really feeling and opens up the connection between you and the person you are saying I love you too. Connecting Love to a Name Ancient peoples believed that there was power in a name. They are right to an extent. When … Continue reading →

What Does Unconditional Love Mean to You?

Unconditional love, in the simplest terms, means loving another person without conditions, no matter what. All adults have a basic understanding of genuine, unconditional love. We can find a precise, dictionary definition or read about its many nuances in marriage and relationship advice books, but how is it defined in your own marriage? Unconditional love can mean different things to different people. For some it means loving someone even when you don’t like him or her very much at the moment (for good reason) but standing by that person anyway. For others, it may mean becoming more accepting of your … Continue reading →

Falling in Love with your Real Child

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Often as parents we have unrealistic expectations for our kids. Our child is born, and we dream an imaginary future for him or her. “My son is going to be a golf pro,” “My daughter will win beauty pageants,” or “My boy will be valedictorian and get a scholarship to MIT.” Even simple dreams like, “My daughter will look like me,” or “I’ll teach my son to play baseball,” might not become reality. And this can be hard to deal with at first. Eventually, nearly all parents come to realize that their child isn’t exactly what they expected. Especially in … Continue reading →