Twins are the fascinating subject of numerous studies. There are studies that attempt to lay to rest the great nature vs. nurture debate. There are studies to support or debunk the idea that twins, especially identical twins have some sort of mysterious connection unknown to the non-multiple world. There are studies that attempt to explain how they develop and how being a twin (or multiple) affects life. And for all the studies that have been done, there are just as many conclusions.
However, one aspect that I’ve noticed to be very different in their development is their social development. In all aspects of social abilities they are significantly more advanced than most singletons. Now, I readily admit that this is my own observations and not a scientific study. But I’ve talked with other parents of multiples as well and it seems that twins have a heightened sense of social awareness. Not all twins are the same either, but there seems to be somewhat of a trend.
Empathy
Twins seem to be highly affected by what happens to their other twin. Case studies have talked about how when one twin is hurt, the other might feel pain or show symptoms; or when one twin is sad, the other senses something is wrong. I can’t say that we’ve experienced that but there does seem to be an inexplicable connection. When one twin is disciplined the other invariable comes to her defense. Similarly, we’ve had a couple of situations where one twin gets into a ‘tiff’ with another child and suddenly the ‘tiff’ is two against one. What’s fascinating about watching it is that both girls are moderately selfless with regards to protecting their sister. If one topples over, you can be sure that her twin will come to her rescue.
Playing
At the risk of offending someone, play groups crack me up. I watch one every week when I take my older children to classes and it is full of mothers who try really hard to get their two year olds to interact. Two year olds really are into themselves. That’s okay, it’s part of development. But I can’t say that any of my children really cared to have real friends, ones that they thought about, until at least age four. They got together with other kids, but they just played next to each other.
But not the twins. They share, they have storylines and they are in their own little world. I guess they figure two is more fun and so they kind of follow each other everywhere while playing. They share toys, which is another very fascinating aspect. However, they do not extend this same courtesy to other siblings. . .only to each other.
If you have twins have you experienced this as well? Look soon for more blogs on helping twins develop identity and other topics!
Talk with other twin moms.
Other Blogs on Multiples:
The Perks of Having Higher Order Multiples
Breastfeeding Full Term Multiples