Teddy bears have long been the comfort of children everywhere. In an effort to reclaim the comfort of my lounge room I have this morning been packing up hundreds of teddies left over from the 2006 Cairns Teddy Tour-A-Thon to donate to children’s charities.
As the Teddies beady little eyes pleaded with me not to suffocate them with my large black plastic bags, my conscience did a real Megan act and stood up against the emotionally flat and repetitious packing actions of my hands. Determined to stay strong in my task, I shut my ears and heart to the silent Teddy cries for recognition of their pain. Goodness! How many times have I heard it before anyway? It’s not as if I don’t care and don’t do anything to help. It’s just a heap of Teddies.
“I’m packing, not counseling,” I scolded the teddies. “You had your voice, now I want my lounge room floor back. Be still. Be quiet.” Just like my children, they ignored me, and they screamed louder.
Picking one of the Teddies up, I read its name changed little story tag. How sad I felt for the person who had supplied the tag. How ashamed I was that I was further colluding with the silence around sexual abuse by not allowing these gorgeous little creatures, with their story tag of tenacity, one more public airing.
I made a bargain with the bag of blaring secrets. I promised to facilitate one last voice for them. I could have taken them to my son’s classroom to create a display for his 20 classmates to view, OR, I could share a selection of teddy tag talk on families.com for thousands more people to hear the message. What to do?
Here is a sample of my decision:
Teddy’s name: Penny
Teddy’s age when 1st sexually abused: 4
Who sexually abused Teddy: Dad
What town it happened in: Perth
Where Teddy now lives: Cairns
Message from Teddy to you: It is important to let go of past pains and live for now. You can get over it
Teddy’s name: Joy
Teddy’s age when 1st sexually abused: 3 years
Who sexually abused Teddy: Father
What town it happened in: Mareeba
Where Teddy now lives: Cairns
Message from Teddy to you: He knew what he was doing. I’m now picking up the pieces 58 years later.
Teddy’s name: Ivy
Teddy’s age when 1st sexually abused: 4
Who sexually abused Teddy: Granddad.
What town it happened in: Innisfail
Where Teddy now lives: Innisfail
Message from Teddy to you: Men like him are bad. The Police did nothing because it took 18 months for them to talk to me. I couldn’t remember the days it happened.
Teddy’s name: Michelle
Teddy’s age when 1st sexually abused: 6 1/2
Who sexually abused Teddy: Priest
What town it happened in: Horsham
Where Teddy now lives: Cairns
Message from Teddy to you: Keep believing in yourself, he can’t hurt you anymore. You are strong. Don’t be a victim. You survived.
Teddy’s name: Salty the Sailor
Teddy’s age when 1st sexually abused: 7
Who sexually abused Teddy: Dad
What town it happened in: Melbourne
Where Teddy now lives: Cairns
Message from Teddy to you: Teddy couldn’t understand why her Mum was so angry with her when she found Dad touching her and why Mum beat her with a slipper. As Dad had told her, all Daddies do this with their daughters.
Teddy’s name: Baby Woobi
Teddy’s age when 1st sexually abused: 8
Who sexually abused Teddy: Boogie Man
What town it happened in: Smallville
Where Teddy now lives: My happy future
Message from Teddy to you: If you have been sexually abused you must try your very hardest to tell someone who can help you. It may be hard at first to get on with life and there will be lots of pain and hard times to go through. You just have to remember that there is someone out there who you can get help from. Someone who will care and listen to what you have to say. No matter how sad you feel, or lonely and unloved, just remember that someone out there does love you because I know that I do. Stay strong my teddies. Have faith in yourself and everything will work out the way you wanted it to and you will be able to show the person or the people who have hurt you how strong you are and that you will not go down with them. But, stand tall and be proud of who you are and who you will become in the future
Note: For confidentiality, survivors who supplied story tags were encouraged not to use their real name.
If you want to become involved in cause advocacy to help give a survivor of child sexual abuse a voice, consider joining a charity that actively creates change. Together, we CAN stop child abuse. Make the below charities a starting point. They may have a project happening that suits your time commitment or level of energy.
The United States website of Stop It Now!,
The Minnesota website of Stop It Now!,
The United Kingdom and Ireland website of Stop It Now!.
Want to find out a little more about child sexual abuse? Clink on some related articles from this site (further links inside suggested articles):
The Grooming Process of a Child Sexual Predator;
Sexual Predators groom for silence;
Final BITSS of Protective Play;