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The First Visit

One part of the conversation that I had with Rebecca’s CPS Case Worker that I have not yet mentioned was that the biological mother was entitled to visitation. She was going to be allowed 1 hour every two weeks to have supervised visitation with my little girl. I did feel a little better that they would be supervised but I did still not like this.

We lived about an hour and a half from the town where Rebecca was born so for the first visit we drove her down for the visitation. The case had been assigned a new case worker and she had already started reading the case file we had sent. When the visit was getting ready to start they walked us into a room, one side of the room had a two way mirror that was looking into another room that was brightly decorated with toys and had a rocking chair in it.

The biological mother was brought into the bright colored room and waited as the case worker took Rebecca from me and brought her over to the other room and handed her to the biological mother. When she did that I began to get teary eyed, I hated the idea of this woman who had been so mean to my sons was holding this innocent, helpless baby.

We shut the lights out in the room we were in so she could not see us but we could see her. I began to watch the woman when she was handed the baby she had no emotion at all. Now I have never had a baby taken from me possibly forever and then had that same baby placed in my arms but I am sure that if I did I would have started crying the second I saw my baby.

It was the hardest hour I had ever experienced. The only plus was that while I sat at the window watching everything that she did but I also had time to talk with the case worker about their plans. She said that she had read the file and called the case worker for our boys to get his take on it. She had come to a new conclusion that although reunification is always the ideal plan, given the mothers history with CPS it was not likely that she would complete all the necessary work. This gave us a glimmer of hope.

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About Tammy Woolard

My name is Tammy and I am 40 year old mother of 3 wonderful children who came to us through domestic adoption. Although we did not have any fertility issues we chose adoption because there are so many kids that did not ask to be born but truly want a family to love. We did research on adoption choices and decided on domestic adoption through CPS. You would be surprised the differences between each agency. The adoption process is nothing like you see in the movies. I am also a 5 year breast cancer survivor. When I was diagnosed my kids were 3, 5 and 7 I did so much research I may have driven my Dr. a little crazy but that is ok it is my body not his.