Last week my 11-year-old son really surprised me with a statement that he made under his breath. I can’t even recall the setting of that conversation or what we had been talking about. All I know is that I heard him mutter something that really took me off guard.
When I thought I heard what I heard, I asked him to repeat it but he wouldn’t. It took a couple of minutes to coax it out of him. Finally he sighed heavily and said, “I wish you had a different job.”
The reason that statement really surprised me is because I work at home. He went on to say how I am always busy and I complain when they, meaning my children, bother me. Ouch. That really stung.
My initial thought was, “How dare he accuse me of being too busy? Why does he think I work from home? I do it so that I can be available to my children.” But then I quickly realized that despite how good of a job I may think I have been doing in that department, apparently he was not feeling it.
It’s the guilty mother syndrome. It seems you can’t win. If you work outside the home you feel guilty because you aren’t with your children as much. If you don’t work outside the home you feel guilty because you aren’t contributing to your family’s finances. And apparently if you work inside your home you are still not doing it right.
I wasn’t mad at my son. He was making a valid point. He was expressing how he feels, whether or not there is merit to it really doesn’t matter. It is how he feels and I have to acknowledge that.
I did attempt to defend myself. I explained that I work at home so that I can be available to them; however, there are times that I am interrupted so often it interferes with my work. My work is also important and I am expected to complete things by a certain deadline.
So now I have some thinking to do. How can I make this work better? I thought it was working out great. I can’t even say that it’s just my son because then my 13-year-old daughter piped up and added, “Yeah, you always get mad when I try to talk to you.”
I honestly didn’t think I let my feelings show. I would feel irritated inside and try not to show it but apparently I haven’t been doing a good job.
So this week my goal is to work hard but when my children need me, stop what I am doing, look them in the eye and give them my time. At the same time I know that I have to teach them to respect my working time. They wouldn’t be able to interrupt me if I worked outside the home.
I would love to hear from other work-at-home mothers who have battled with this and how you have overcome it.
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