While many couples going through a divorce will live within a short driving distance from one another, other couples find that one of them is now located long-distance. This means trying to still be an effective parent from miles away, which can be challenging. Typically, this parent feels he or she has lost touch and even some sense of control in the rearing of the child. If you find yourself in this situation, you need to be realistic that challenges will arise but you can take a few steps to be the best parent possible while living long-distance.
Keep the communication line open with your child, meaning phone calls occur daily, if possible. Make sure the child knows that he or she can call you anytime, day or night. In addition, the ex-spouse needs to be open to you calling as well, although acceptable hours would need to be established. Even hearing a voice and asking a few questions can make a huge difference in the continuance of a solid relationship.
You should also interest your child in the city where you live. For instance, you could choose interesting articles about activities or festivals occurring where you live or shop for fun postcards that would show off some of the favorite spots in town. You might also take photographs of your new home, inside and outside, as well as the office where you work. This way, your child can visualize mom or dad while on the phone, which helps when not visiting.
Additionally, keep up on any sports or activities your child is involved with, sending special notes of encouragement or even “how to” books. Just as you send newspaper clippings to your child, have him or her cut out anything interesting about school or those sports/activities so you too can stay up to date. You will find your child really appreciates this type of involvement. After all, if you cannot be there in person, know what is going on. If you and your ex-spouse have a good relationship, you might also ask if he/she would take pictures of your child playing sports, dancing, etc. This would allow you to see him/her in action.
I know one mother who had a son living long-distance. She wanted to continue the sharing of their favorite television show so she purchased free long-distance phone calling and when the show came on, she would call him. While hundreds of miles apart, the two would watch the entire hour together, discussing the show, laughing, and still sharing. The bottom line that while long-distance parenting is not easy to do, it is also not impossible to be successful at.
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