For some reason lately, Dylan has become enamored with the word “maybe”. If he asks me for something and I say “no”, he pleads with me and asks me to say “maybe” instead. I’m not sure where he got that idea from, as I have been very careful not to use “maybe” with him. At the very least, I have been careful not to use it incorrectly.
Of course, many of you might wonder what the big deal is. What’s wrong with “maybe”? I think that I summed up my feelings on “maybe” the other day, albeit during not one of my prouder parenting moments. Dylan asked me if he could have a piece of cake. It was eight in the morning, and I was making breakfast. Naturally, I said “no”. He pleaded with me, asking me to say “maybe”, but I refused. After about ten minutes of listening to the aforementioned pleading, breakfast was ready and I was irritated that he would not stop badgering me. As I brought the plates to the table, I snapped, “Maybe is just a cheap way to avoid talking about something that I am just going to say no to later on”. Instantly, I apologized for my harsh tone, but my feeling about “maybe” remained firm.
There are times when “maybe” really is the appropriate word. Times like when Dylan asks whether the “V” of Canadian Geese flying overhead are headed towards Georgia. “I don’t know” is one possible reply, but that has its own set of consequences. “Maybe” is a good reply because it is entirely possible that those geese are flying to Georgia at this time of year. “Maybe” is also a good fit for that situation because it is not being said in response to a request that I have no intention of granting now or ever.
Even though Dylan is very young, he is bright. What’s more, he remembers things. If I tell him at eight in the morning on Monday that he can “maybe” have cake, the question will resurface around noon, at bed time, in a couple of days, or next week. If the answer to his question is “no” right now, and it would be “no” in the future, I prefer to spare both of us from avoiding the issue now only to have to address it later on. I prefer to deal with any disappointment, tears, or even tantrums right now so that we can move on.
“Maybe” drives me absolutely bonkers. Are there any words or phrases that your child uses or that others use to relate to your child that bother you?