Some children seem to make friends quite naturally, without even having to think about it. This isn’t usually the case with children who have a special need that comes with symptoms that tend to impact social skills. This is true with many children who have ADHD. Fortunately, there are some tips that can help make it easier for your child to effectively communicate with other children, and perhaps make a few friends in the process.
Children, (and adults), who have ADHD tend to have difficulty interacting appropriately with their peers when a conversation is taking place. Impulsiveness is one of the symptoms of ADHD. In conversations, this could cause the child who has ADHD to dominate a conversation, and to talk excessively. Other kids can become frustrated because they cannot “get a word in edgewise”.
Impulsiveness can also cause a child who has ADHD to interrupt other speakers when they are talking. Part of this is because children with ADHD tend to have difficulty waiting for their turn. The child who has ADHD might talk over other people, to ask a question that just popped into their head. No one likes to be interrupted, or talked over, and this tendency could make other kids rather irritated.
Or, the child might interrupt with a completely unrelated topic, causing their peers to become confused. Another symptom of ADHD is a lack of focus. Someone who has ADHD could lose track of the conversation, because their mind has wandered to other topics. This can make the child unable to provide the kind of feedback that lets other people know that he or she is listening to what is being said. It can make other kids feel as though they are being tuned out, which isn’t a nice feeling, either.
There are some tips that can help a child who has ADHD to be able to improve his or her communication skills. There are various online resources that can be used to help children who have ADHD to learn better social skills.
Try to slow down. Take a few breaths before speaking, and make sure you are calm before you jump into a conversation. The calmer you are, the less stressful the conversation will be.
Pick up the pattern. In good conversations, one person speaks for a certain amount of time, and then stops, and listens. Then, the other person talks for about the same amount of time, before stopping. Keep the pattern in mind, and you might be able to fit your words into the conversation in a more appropriate way. It also can ease your mind, because you know that you will get another turn to speak.
Practice checking in. Part of what makes a conversation work is when each person is letting the other know that they are listening. Ask questions like: “I think that you are saying (fill in the blank with what was said). Am I understanding you?” This is just one example.
Image by Tim Morgan on Flickr