Whether we like it or not, our words define us. They reveal out thoughts and heart attitudes. Jesus knew this. See Matthew 12:34-37 and Mark 7:15-23.You know it too. Listen to someone you know talk. It is easy to pick up clues about the type of person they are from the words they say and the tone of voice in which it is said. Impatience stubbornness, anger, impatience, jealousy will all show up in a person’s words or tone. So will love, gentleness, generosity, patience.
Before you jump in and add your thoughts to a conversation, can I suggest you stop a moment? Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. How would you feel if for example, someone tells you want you are doing is all wrong? How would you feel if you didn’t have children or couldn’t have them or had chosen not to have them, and were always being asked, ‘When are you going to start a family?’ Or ‘When are you going to have another child?’
Yet these are the types of comments people make all the time. The reality is, it no-one else’s business but yours and your spouse’s when or if you have children. But people seem to see it as their right to ask these personal questions and interrogate you about your plans and can get insulted if they don’t like the answer.
Or it might be ‘why are you giving up… whatever form of ministry you have been doing?’ Or ‘Why aren’t you going to church camp?’ Sometimes it can be financial or medical reasons makes people chose not to participate. Other times it may simply be personal preference. Either way they don’t deserve to be interrogated and made to feel like second class Christians if the don’t participate.
What happens when people persist in asking questions they have no right to ask is the other person gets defensive, evasive, belligerent or more determined not to do it. Or it can make them lie to save face. None of these are helpful.
It can cause a whole other set of problems because the person asking the questions gets offended if they don’t get an answer, so next time before your speak, watch your words. Is that really what someone needs to hear?
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