I promise; this will be my last potty-themed blog (for a while anyway).
In my previous post I shared my young daughter’s fear of going potty in public restrooms that feature automatic-flushing toilets. What I neglected to reveal in that blog is the myriad of non-traditional places that she’s gone number one, on the occasions when she absolutely wouldn’t relieve herself on “strange” potties.
Let’s see… she’s gone in the tall grass that borders a rural highway in Wisconsin, in an opening between rocks at a secluded beach in Hawaii, in a dirt hole I dug in the far corner of a nature preserve, in between storage units in a tattered size 3 Pamper that I found in a moment of sheer desperation in the trunk of my car. Which doesn’t sound too bad, except for the fact that size 3 Pampers are designed to accommodate kids up to 28 pounds and my then 4-year-old was pushing 36 pounds. I couldn’t even get the diaper’s tabs to close, so I just held the Pamper near her nether regions and caught whatever pee I could.
My daughter has also gone in countless bodies of water from the Pacific Ocean to local swimming pools, lakes and creeks. Of course, I was informed of these spontaneous potty breaks only after she had completed them.
Me: Honey, let’s go to the potty.
Her: I already did.
Me: Where?
Her: In there. (Pointing at miles of open ocean, a crowded swimming pool or Lake Michigan.)
Me: UGH!
I suppose it could be worse. If I think of all the weird places I changed my daughter’s diaper when she was a baby, an open ocean that is constantly circulating impurities, is not the worst place in the world for a 5-year-old to urinate.
Heck, I’ve seen some moms change their kids on picnic tables. Talk about gross… and potentially dangerous for the unsuspecting picnickers who spread out their food in an area where a poopy diaper just sat.
When I think about eewww factors, other places come to mind, including:
*The floor of an airport terminal
*On the bottom of a playground slide
*On the cover of a toilet seat
*On the hood or trunk of a car
*On park benches that homeless people use as beds
The list could go on indefinitely.
What’s the weirdest place your kid has gone potty?