I tend to get resentful when I have to attend to things I do not want to. When it comes to my family–my kids are such a priority for me and while I do try to keep my life balanced with outside interests, I also am constantly weighing whether or not I am letting “inferior” things take me away from my family?
Of course, I have to work and as a single parent, that is not an option for me–I absolutely have to work and generate income to support my family. The sort of work I do and how much time I spend doing it away from home is something I have a bit of control over. I have historically made personal work choices that would afford me more time at home and more flexibility with my schedule. This is not always perfect or optimum however, and there are plenty of times when I have to be away working or focused on work that I would rather be at home with my kids.
What else is going on in my life that takes me away from my kids? Friends, social engagements, extended family, volunteer work, etc. The trick is to be able to evaluate whether or not the outside activities are adding value to one’s life or are being a drain that is sucking away resources and attention that could be going toward the family. There are times when I have ended up letting family suffer in order to be a good “friend” and ended up regretting it. Part of “growing up” for me has been to learn how to balance my care and concern for friends and other activities, with doing what is best for my family. Our kids can do a great job of making us feel guilty for any outside interests too so we have to keep one eye on the big picture. Sometimes the best thing we can do for our family is spend a little time away–other times, it is the outside activities that we have to curb in order to get back home and pay attention to our kids.
Also: Helping Where They Are Most Vulunerable
Trusting and Allowing Them to Make Their Own Decisions