Parents.com wrote: From authorities to authoritative, permissive to neglectful, we’re breaking down different types of parenting styles. Which one do you practice?
Your parenting style can affect everything from your child’s self-esteem to their academic success. It’s important to ensure your parenting style supports healthy growth and development because the way you interact with your child — and how you discipline them — will influence them for the rest of their life.
Researchers have identified four main parenting styles that take a unique approach to raising children: Authoritarian, Authoritative, Permissive, and Uninvolved.
People want to know which parenting style they’re using and which one is best overall. The truth is that there is no one right way to parent, but the general parenting style that most experts, including the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), recommended is an authoritative approach.
Authoritarian Parenting
Do any of these statements sound like you?
You believe kids should be seen and not heard.
When it comes to rules, you believe its “my way or the highway.”
You don’t take your child’s feelings into consideration.
You’ve uttered the word “because I said so” when a child questions the reasons behind a rule.
If any of those ring true, you might be an authoritarian parent. The authoritarian style of parenting focuses on strict rules, obedience, and discipline. These parents have high expectations, and don’t hesitate to punish when children don’t follow their guidelines.
Authoritarian parents take over the decision-making power, rarely giving children any input in the matter. Similar to an army drill sergeant, authoritarian parents are not nurturing, lenient, or communicable. They make the rules and enforce the consequences with little regard for a child’s opinion.
How authoritarian parenting affects children
When raised by an authoritarian parent, children are often well-behaved at home, but they may rebel when classmates or friends. Kids may also struggle with the following:
Social skills; indecisiveness and trouble thinking on their own; Low self esteem; Anger management and resentfulness; Hostility and aggression.
Some research also indicate that children whose parents were authoritarian reported more substance use and higher instances of depression.
Permissive Parenting
Do any of these statements sound like you?
You set rules but rarely enforce them.
You don’t give out consequences very often.
You think your child will learn best with little interference from you.
You let your children do what they want — even if it’s drinking soda at every meal.
If those statements sound familiar, you might practice permissive parenting. Permissive parents are lenient, only stepping in when there’s a serious problem. They’re quite forgiving and they adopt an attitude of “kids will be kids.” Oftentimes they act more like friends than authoritative figures.
Permissive parents cater to their children’s needs without giving out much discipline. When they do use consequences, they may not stick. For example, they’ll give privileges back if a child begs, or they may allow a child to get out of time-out early if they promise to be good. Permissive parents are the total opposite of strict.
How permissive parenting affects children
Since they have a high standing in the household, children of permissive parents are accustomed to getting whatever they want. They may exhibit more behavioral problems as they don’t appreciate authority and rules.
Other downsides of the permissive parenting style can include:
Lack of responsibility
Difficulty with decision-making
Lack of independence and personal responsibility
Anxiety and depression
Academic studies
Kids who are parented permissively often act entitled, egocentric, and selfish. These children might also fail to put effort into school, work, or social endeavors since they don’t have to put in any effort at home.
Additionally kids raised by permissive parents are at a higher risk for health problems, like obesity, because permissive parents struggle to limit unhealthy food intake or promote regular exercise or healthy sleep habits. They’re more likely to have dental cavities because permissive parents often don’t enforce good habits like ensuring a child brushes their teeth.
Authoritative Parenting
Do any of these statements sound like you?
You put a lot of effort into creating and maintaining a positive relationship with your child
You explain the reasons behind your rules.
You set limits, enforce rules, and give consequences, but also consider your child’s feelings.
You use positive discipline strategies such as praise and rewards
If those statements sound familiar, you might practice authoritative parenting, which is considered to be the “gold standard” parenting style. Authoritative parents provide their children with rules and boundaries, but they also give them the freedom to make decisions.
With an authoritative parenting style parents validate their children’s feelings while also making it clear that the adults are ultimately in charge. They invest time and energy into preventing behavior problems before they start. They also use positive discipline strategies like praise and reward systems, to reinforce positive behavior.
Authoritative parents view mistakes as a learning experience, and they have clear expectation for their children. They’re nurturing and warm, yet they instill the importance of responsibility and discipline.
How authoritative parenting affects children
Children raised with authoritative parenting tend to be happy, confident, and successful. They’re also more likely to make sound decisions and evaluate safety rusks on their own. Authoritative parenting is linked to academic achievement, heightened self-esteem, and resiliency.
Kids with authoritative parents tend to have the following positive outcomes:
Close, nurturing relationships with parents
Tendency to be responsible and respectful
Ability to manage their aggression
High degrees of self-esteem, self-confidence and self-regulation
More likely and successful
Ability to clearly express their emotions
Kids who are parented by authoritatively can be trusted to make the right decision on their own, and they often set high expectations for themselves. These children may also preform well academically and socially, and they’re less likely to misuse drugs or alcohol.
Neglectful or Uninvolved Parenting
Do any of these statements sound familiar?
You don’t ask your child about school or homework.
You rarely know where your child is or who they’re with.
You don’t spend much time with your child.
You don’t have many rules and expectations
If those statements sound familiar, you might be an uninvolved or neglectful parent. Essentially, neglectful parents ignore their children, who receive little guidance, nurturing, and parental attention. They don’t set rules or expectations, and they tend to have minimal knowledge about what their children are doing.
Uninvolved parents expect children to raise themselves. They don’t devote much time or energy to meeting children’s basic needs. At times, uninvolved parent lack knowledge about child development — or they may believe that their child will do better without their oversight.
Uninvolved parents may be neglectful but it’s not always intentional. A parent with mental health issues or substance abuse problems, for example, may not be able to care for a child’s physical or emotional needs consistently.
How uninvolved parenting affects children
Without any guidance, structure, or parental involvement, children of neglectful parents often act out. Research has found that kids win uninvolved parents have the worst outcomes, and they’re more likely to experience the following:
Substance use
Rebelliousness
Delinquency (vandalism, assault, rape, petty theft)
Lower cognitive and emotional empathy
Diminished self-esteem
Children of uninvolved parents might, for example, get in trouble at school or with the law. In addition, they might hesitate to form bonds with other people and exhibit depression. Academic performance and social competence often suffer.