Although you may not think you need a support group, have you considered how a support group might need you? One of the main reasons I think people don’t attend an adoption support group is they don’t feel it will be of any benefit to them. In my years of leading and co-leading support groups I’ve noticed three primary groups of attendees: those in waiting, those in crisis, and those who want to be of support.
- Those in waiting: These are often people who’ve attended group to learn more about the process of adoption after their home studies have been completed. These families often look for tips on standing out at in committees. In our state of Oregon, a committee is a panel of usually three volunteers who study, most often, three families that a child worker has received home studies on and believes to be most suitable for adopting a specific child or sibling group. Families waiting for adoptive placements also come to seek resources and information on various special needs common in state adopted children.
- Those in Crisis: There are families that come to group when they aren’t sure what else to do. Whether it’s just to vent about general parenting stresses, or to seek resources from other parents who’ve been-there-done-that, it helps to know someone is there to listen. In our group we try to keep resources on hand for these kinds of families. Families who are struggling with specific issues may find it very relieving to hear they are not alone. Often these families connect with others in the group with similar circumstances.
- Those who want to support: Then there are the families that are too far and few between who have already adopted and have had successful placements. These are the families that don’t always feel they need a group but show up anyway because they had benefited hearing from those who’d had successful placements or had overcome obstacles when they were in waiting or in crisis.
Adoptive support groups are about connecting those who’ve been through or are going through adoption. It’s not a twelve-step meeting or just a place of woes and struggles; it should be a place of encouragement, support, and a network where everyone has something benefit from and to share.
Melissa is a Families.com Christian Blogger. Read her blogs at: http://members.families.com/mj7/blog