When we become pregnant, it is one of the most exciting times of our lives. We soon become consumed with eating right, avoiding anything that could potentially hurt the baby and tracking the changes in the baby’s development. Ideally, this is a fun time to be shared with your partner. However, it doesn’t always work this way.
For a variety of reasons, some men are just not supportive of their pregnant wives. Whether the reason is an unplanned pregnancy, increased financial pressure or not feeling connected to the baby yet, the lack of interest is upsetting to the woman, to say the least. Of course, there are some women that are quite happy to experience the pregnancy without the support of her partner, many are not.
The lack of support can range from a general disinterest in the pregnancy to a complete lack of compassion for the morning sickness, fatigue or other symptoms experienced during the pregnancy. Depending on the individual woman, the general disinterest is a lot easier to deal with than a lack of compassion for the real symptoms you are dealing with every day.
This is even more pronounced if you have other children. Coping with morning sickness or fatigue is much easier, if you don’t have a toddler and a preschool age child that need your care and attention. When you have other kids, you need the support of your partner to get from one day to the next.
Start by talking with your partner to determine why he is not supportive of you or showing at least a cursory interest in the pregnancy. There may be underlying issues that need to be addressed. This is often a good time for some marital counseling, so the issues don’t get worse after the baby has arrived. You can get a referral from your health care provider.
If your partner continues to be unsupportive, find someone who will be there for you. This could be a close friend or sister who has a child and has been through pregnancy. Another mom is a great source of information, or at least commiseration when you are feeling horrible and still have to get things done.
If you are sick or experiencing complications, you need your partner’s support even more. If he refuses to give it, hire someone to fill in the gaps, whether this means a cleaning lady or a mother’s helper to lend a hand with the other kids. Since he can’t, or won’t help, you need to get help on your own. If you can’t afford paid help, enlist your other child’s grandma or a favorite aunt to pitch in.
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