Do husbands need more reassurance, affirmation and encouragement than wives do? I’d be interested to hear what others think about this.
Author and illustrator Graeme Base revealed in his interview on Talking Heads, how he was far more in need of praise and affirmations than his wife Robyn who is also a creative artist. His assessment of his wife was that she was much more independent and did not need to rely on input from him as much. He, on the other hand needed conformation from her about his work. It made me wonder if this is a personality difference or a gender difference, which is what led to the question that started this blog.
I do know Mick has always been supportive, encouraging and affirming about my writing. But that doesn’t mean I feel the need to show him everything I’ve written before I submit it for his comment, though I do occasionally. Because he is an avid reader himself he is a good critic and can spot any weak areas, more so in fiction or articles than poetry.
Do I in turn encourage him? Yes. Recently I told him how good an example he used to illustrate a point during a lesson at school. The usual teacher who was in the classroom at the time was impressed as well. She didn’t say anything, but I could see it in her face. So I told him. It was just a small way of encouraging and affirming what he was doing.
I’m inclined to think encouragement, affirmation and appreciation never goes astray. Yet they are things that often seem to be ignored. More often it seems people can be ready with criticism or the snappy sarcastic come back that is a put down of the other person. In marriage this seems to happen quite a bit from husbands and wives. How much better to try encouraging them and affirm what they do and telling them how much you appreciate them?
Please visit these related blogs
How Does your Temperament Impact on Your Marriage?
Personality Differences in Relationships