It’s funny how years and maturity can change your view of things from your childhood. I know all memories are colored by time and usually we have a rosier view of the past than we did at the time but sometimes, it’s warranted.
My father died when I was a toddler so every summer I got to spend a week or two with my father’s mother, Grandma D. My father’s family all lived out of state so we didn’t see them on a regular basis.
I remember as a child feeling unloved by my grandmother and one of the reasons for that was because she worked. My other grandmother, Nan, didn’t work, so when I spent time at her house she and my grandfather were around to cater to my every whim and keep me entertained.
When I went to Grandma D’s it was different. I usually visited her with my oldest cousin who was my age, Grandma had lots of grandchildren and took us in small groups for visits. Janet and I were the two oldest grandchildren so we usually got to spend our time with Grandma together. We also were on our own during the day and actually had to make our own lunches and entertain ourselves. See? I told you she didn’t love me.
I didn’t understand why Grandma had to work all day instead of spending time with me, she obviously didn’t love me. My Nan had all the time in the world to spend with me, because she loved me, besides grandmothers weren’t supposed to work, even grandfathers got to be retired.One thing I didn’t understand at the time was that there was quite an age difference between my sets of grandparents. My mother’s parents were older when she was born so my grandfather was retired before I was even old enough to remember him working.
Another thing I didn’t realize was that Grandma D was a single mother in an age when it was a rarity. My Aunt Rose was only about ten or so years older than me so my grandmother was working to support the two of them.
Now, looking back, I’m so grateful that I got to spend that time with my Grandma, she could have just said she didn’t have time, after all, she worked full time and had lots of grandchildren, I believe there were at least fourteen of us. Instead, even though she worked full time she still spent her summers rotating her grandchildren to her house for visits.
This is an important lesson for me now, because as a single mother one day I’m going to be that grandma that has to work everyday so I need to make sure my grandbabies know I love them.