One of the most difficult aspects in your marriage can be your finances. When it comes to joining two lives together, you also join together two different aspects of money management, two different feelings towards money, and two different lives of past experiences surrounding money. It is important to realize that so many aspects go into how you feel about money, and that your spouse has underlying experiences as well. If you find that you are not agreeing on certain aspects you may need to go to the root of the problem and discover why you each feel the way you do.
Additionally you should look at what you each want to achieve with your money and why. Although you may both have similar financial goals, you may find that your sense of urgency or willingness to sacrifice in order to reach those goals may be completely different. You may find that one spouse struggles more with the concept of saving and making sacrifices in buying things immediately. Or one spouse may not realize what the financial situation really is. It is important to spend time together discussing the situation, how you each feel about it and what you are willing to do to reach your goals.
If your spouse is not interested in budgeting, or making financial goals, then you have a difficult road ahead of you. Additionally your spouse may be interested, but not quite to the point that he is ready to actually begin making changes. This can be difficult. If this has been happening for some time, and you are in serious financial trouble, you may need to see a marriage counselor, so that you can learn to discuss these matters effectively. It often helps to have a mediator or impartial third party when dealing with these difficult situations.
As you deal with finances it is important to refrain from criticizing each other. You should forgive each other of past mistakes and move forward. You may need to set up consequences if a spouse consistently overspends when he has agreed to stop. This is a tricky situation, because you do not want one spouse to become the enforcer or parent figure in the relationship. As you work together planning, budgeting and spending, you will find that you can reach your financial goals. You will be closer together and money will no longer be a source of contention. This does take time and effort, but it will bring a sense of peace to your relationship.
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