Despite all of the sex education being taught in school, the condoms that are being made available on some high school campuses and the trend of “friends with benefits,” I have chosen to, yes, teach my teens abstinence.
Abstinence teaching is not given much thought. If it is taught in sex education it is more likely a topic that is quickly glossed over. Not much attention is given to that concept because we seem so sure that every teenager in America is going to have sex whether we like it or not.
My personal thought on that is we have given too much control over to teens. By shrugging our shoulders in defeat, we are saying that we as adults are not able to influence or guide our teens. They are going to do whatever they want to do so we might as well let them do it. I think it’s a cop out and it puts all the decision making back into their hands.
No longer is it enough to teach our teens that sex can lead to pregnancy. There are so many teens with broken families that they actually desire to produce life. They believe that by having a child of their own they can make up for what they don’t have.
Or teens think that a baby will love them unconditionally. Perhaps a teen hasn’t received healthy love from their family or they have been in a series of broken relationships that has left them feeling rejected.
I don’t even know if teaching teens about sexual diseases is enough. Perhaps not enough focus is given on what those diseases can do to their bodies and how some of them are incurable. I believe teens have the notion that medicine will cure anything they may get.
When I teach my teens about sex I spend a lot of time talking about sexual diseases. I get into the nitty gritty of what it looks like, how it affects their body and the symptoms they may experience. If you teach it right it will scare many teens.
There is an important component that I believe is missing from many of our sex education programs. Beside the fears of pregnancy and contracting a sexual disease, what about the emotional factors involved in sex?
Sex involves giving away a piece of your heart, something that was at one time completely intact and pure. I know, pure is not a word we use anymore. That is so old fashioned. Well I believe we need to bring that word back.
Teens are given the false impression that sex is just an act which you can engage in without feelings getting involved. That’s where the whole “friends with benefits” fiasco comes into play. The belief is that you can just casually have sex with a friend, no strings attached. It is a complete lie.
Unless you are a robot it’s pretty impossible to not have some feelings or emotions tied into the act. Once you participate and the relationship is over, you have lost something that no matter how much you try, you cannot get back. It is gone forever.
Yes, I teach my teens abstinence. I use old fashioned words like purity and I talk about the importance of developing a friendship before a romantic relationship. I don’t want to just save my children from pregnancy or contracting a sexual disease. I want to save their hearts.
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