Things to Discuss Before the Wedding

This week, we’ve been discussing marriage between a non-Muslim woman and a Muslim man. I realize that I may come across as negative in this area, and I don’t mean to. It’s just that I have seen many “mixed” marriages fall apart due to different ideas about marriage, raising children, and life in general. On the flip side, I’ve seen several of these marriages thrive. So, what’s the difference? Why do some interfaith relationships thrive while many others end in divorce? Is the issue love? Sadly, no, I don’t think that’s it. Of course, love does help and it is … Continue reading →

Islam and the Non-Muslim Wife

In my last entry, I discussed the non-Muslim woman who is considering marriage to a Muslim man. I explained the role of Islam in a man’s life and in his children’s. Now, let’s discuss the role of Islam in the life of the non-Muslim wife. Yes, I know that sounds contradictory, but it isn’t. Really. First of all, Muslim men are free to marry “People of the Book.” This means that a Muslim man can marry a practicing Christian or Jew. If you are neither of these, run! Your marriage will not be accepted Islamically, and chances are good that … Continue reading →

Non-Muslim Woman: Should You Marry a Muslim Man?

Okay, so you’ve met the man of your dreams, and he’s totally into you, too. He’s dark and handsome, and wildly exotic. He speaks of faraway lands in a way that mesmerizes and he looks at you as though you’re the only woman on earth. He has an intensity that has swept you off your feet. After a whirlwind relationship, he wants to marry you as soon as possible. Oh, and he’s Muslim. Should you marry him? [h]Does He Love You?[/h] That depends. There are several things you should consider first, though. The first thing to realize is that many … Continue reading →

Sex in the Muslim Marriage

Allah created men and women as two halves of a whole, made complete through marriage. The Koran says, “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (Ar-Rum 30:21) Marriage should provide physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual fulfillment. Although it is rarely spoken of, lovemaking is an important part of a Muslim marriage. Sex is made legal through marriage; sex outside of marriage, whether premarital or extramarital, … Continue reading →

Marriage in Trouble? Seek Help

We recently discussed that, although allowed, divorce is to be avoided whenever possible. Still, it is a fact of life that marriages do hit roadblocks, some big and some small. Maybe your wife spends too much money; maybe your husband spends too much time with his friends. Maybe he isn’t affectionate enough, maybe she’s too needy. Or maybe, the problems are more serious: infidelity, drug or alcohol use, mental or physical abuse. What’s a Muslim family to do? In traditional Muslim countries, the couple would sit down with the elders of the family. The husband, the wife, a representative from … Continue reading →

Divorce in Islam

Many people are surprised to learn that divorce is allowed in Islam. After all, Islam is so strict and rigid in many ways, why would divorce be allowed? Marriage is Allah’s gift to mankind. It offers peace and security, physical pleasure and children. Marriage is meant to nurture the soul. While no one is happy all the time, marriage in general should bring happiness and fulfillment to both parties. Marriage is the center of the family, and also its thermometer. When the marriage is strong, the family flourishes. When it is weak, however, the entire family suffers. Allah, in His … Continue reading →

Anger in the Muslim Marriage

Have you ever found yourself inexplicably angry at your spouse? Just nitpicking, tearing him apart, and looking for something to be mad about? Or, looking back on an argument, do you ever find yourself unable to pinpoint exactly why you were fighting in the first place? I’m sure we’ve all had these days. Why? Well, it could be that you are, in fact, married to the most annoying person on earth. More likely, though, it is the work of Shaitan (Satan). It is Shaitan’s mission to destroy marriages. Any time he can create a rift between husband and wife, he … Continue reading →

Culture Clash in the Muslim Marriage

Many Muslim marriages consist of an Arab or Pakistani man and a Western-born woman. Even if both parties are Muslim, they still bring completely different backgrounds to the table, and that can create a culture clash. One thing Western Muslims learn quickly is that culture and religion are often very tightly entwined for born Muslims. [h]Household Duties[/h] One area that frequently exposes this culture clash is household chores. Although the Prophet (PBUH) was very actively involved in cleaning, cooking, and other domestic pursuits, many of today’s Muslim husbands neglect this Sunnah (example of the Prophet). My husband is helpful around … Continue reading →

Roles in the Muslim Marriage

When Muslim marriage is discussed, it is often mentioned that women should submit to their husbands. Is that an accurate portrayal? Well, yes and no. Actually, a Muslim marriage is about submitting to Allah’s (God’s) will. As Muslims, we believe that Allah has given men and women distinct roles in life and in the family. We believe that men and women are created equal, but different. We believe that these differences make each uniquely suited to various roles. Women, for example, are typically more nurturing, more sensitive, and more patient. This combination makes (most) women perfectly suited to raise children, … Continue reading →