Murphy Meets the Paramedics

Yesterday my mom’s health took a scary turn. She was extremely confused when she woke up. She was holding the clothes she’d been wearing the day before but saying she’d lost her clothes. Explaining she was holding her clothes only made her contemplate the bundle with confusion. As he almost always is, Murph was at my side to help with the Grandma Dorothy wakeup routine. When my mom kept saying she didn’t have her clothes but needed them because she was “going home today,” I opened her closet door and showed her all her clothes hanging there. Murph even snatched … Continue reading

Attaching with Extended Family

Some adopted young adults say that although they felt a part of their immediate families, they never felt quite like “one of the clan” with their extended relatives. One adoptive mother theorizes that for relatives who live far apart, reunions tended to focus on genes and history, since relatives who had spent many years at a distance had few shared experiences to build a relationship on. Relatives commented on who had grown up to look like who, remembered family births, and told baby stories comparing new parents and their babies. This mother reported that her kids were likely to hear, … Continue reading

Grandparent Favoritism—My Unnecessary Worry

Earlier this month, I wrote about an adopted child’s adjustment to home and about how grandparents can support the child’s bonding with his/her new parents. I wrote that sometimes grandparents’ eagerness to welcome the child can confuse the child. But what if you have the opposite problem–it seems the grandparents don’t warm to the newly adopted child as readily as to other grandchildren? In adoption, as when a new baby is born into the family, sometimes one of the best ways family members can help is by caring for an older sibling or siblings and letting the mother and father … Continue reading

Arrival Parties

Maybe some of you have witnessed an international adoption placement at an airport. I remember seeing one while I was in college. There were a couple dozen people, balloons, and one very scared looking tot. Many people who adopt have waited a long time to have children. Sometimes they do not have the baby showers or other preparatory celebrations that expectant parents enjoy. The adoption of their child is one of the biggest events in their lives, and they want to celebrate with everyone. Grandparents and friends are eager to show they accept and support the new family. But imagine … Continue reading

Why I Love to Read (one of the many reasons)

I’ve been a little busy lately. As I’ve mentioned, I recently moved, and that involved a whole lot of showing the house, which involved a lot of housework so I would look like I’m a better housekeeper than I really am. It also involved a great deal of packing, and then the move itself, and then a great deal of unpacking. Because of the fact that I’m not a very good housekeeper, the unpacking probably took longer than it should have, and I haven’t decided for sure if that cupboard is really where I want to keep the plates or … Continue reading