Tag Archives: in-laws

Bonding With the In-Laws: The Youngest Sibling

One of the weirdest things about marrying into a large family was that I’ve been around for almost the entire life of my littlest brother-in-law.  When Jon and I first started dating, and I met the family for the first time, his youngest brother was only a bit over a year old.  While he knows most of Jon’s other siblings very well, because they all lived at home with him for years (and some still do), Jon wasn’t around much when he was growing up.  So Jon, his own brother, isn’t really that much more of a presence in his … Continue reading →

Maintaining A Relationship With Your Childs Grandparents

During a divorce getting through the day is a challenge sometimes. Trying to remember all the things you need to do while being solely responsible for your child can feel overwhelming. We talk to our friends about how we are feeling, we rant and cry and yell once in a while. We try to make sure our children are happy, feel secure, answer their questions all while trying to keep their lives and routines as normal as possible. We have so many new responsibilities and roles. We try very hard to be nice to an ex spouse who hasn’t always … Continue reading →

Tips If You Don’t Get Along

Yesterday we looked at the situation where your son or daughter falls in love with and marries someone you don’t like. If that is the case what can you do? Don’t put them in a situation where they have to choose between you and the family or the new love. Invariably they will choose the one they are in love with and you will find yourself not seeing them at all. Is that really what you want? I don’t think so. Remember that you have something in common. You both love the same person and want what’s best for them. … Continue reading →

Some Things You Have No Control Over

Some things, as a parent, you have no control over. One of them is who your child marries or falls in love with. This was brought out last night in play called The Peach Season,by Debra Oswald, which has a lot to do with relationships. At one stage the mother of one man says to the audience, ‘ Who your child marries, you have no control over.’ She then goes on to talk a bit more and it is obvious she does not like her daughter in law or consider her good enough for her son. Another relationship is that … Continue reading →

Living with In-Laws?

Living with in-laws is a situation some married couples face. Sometimes it is early in the marriage until a couple gets on their feet financially. Other times it occurs when parents get older and need care. It is something a married couple needs to think seriously about before embarking on it. Mick and I have been in this position three times in our married life, and we have seen several others examples within family and close friends, so we know some of the positives and some of the pitfalls. Some things to consider if you are contemplating this decision: Do … Continue reading →

Be Careful

One of the things we need to be careful about is in-laws, not just when we are with them but in the comments we make about them. We all know the jokes about mother-in–laws. There’s often some basis for it, in that mothers in particular seem to have trouble letting go of family and sharing them with the new spouse. I know some of you in the forums have experienced these problems. You might find that your spouse’s mother for example is too demanding of their time. You might find them overbearing or protective or you fill in……whatever the particular … Continue reading →

Protect Your Spouse

When you think about protecting your spouse what do you think of? Protecting them physically or protecting their reputations and best interests. I know for example that I’m never likely to be called upon to protect Mick in a physical sense although if called upon to do so I would certainly try. But since he’s so much stronger than me it’s not likely to happen. However I make sure I protect him in other ways and the ways you might want to think about and see if you protect your spouse. For example even if we have an argument I … Continue reading →

Dealing with the In-Laws

When there is an issue with the extended family, how you you deal with it without causing harm to or conflict within your marriage? The in-laws are and important part of your spouse’s life, which automatically makes them an important part of your life. While it isn’t always easy to have complete family harmony, it is crucial to understand the needs of the extended family and work though conflict. Work together When an issue comes up with the in-laws, you should first solve it with your spouse. Discuss the issue together and avoid accusatory statements, such as “Your mother always…” … Continue reading →

Living Close to Family

Families that live close to each other are happiest, have less cancer and less disease. This was one of the interesting points raised in ‘This is Your Brain on Joy – A Revolutionary Program for Balancing Mood, Restoring Brain Health, and Nurturing Spiritual Growth.’ And yes, I did get Mick to take the Amen Brain Scan Checklist last night. He found it interesting. His came out pretty much as I expected, with perhaps only a couple of answers differing from what I might have expected. But yes, it was different to mine, especially in certain areas. The ones to do … Continue reading →

Can You Ever Go Home Again?

I just spent the entire month of January in Hawaii… visiting my parents. It was actually a wonderful visit and given how much we doled out for the plane tickets and how infrequently my daughter gets to see my family, I did everything humanly possible to make the most of every second we had together. That includes helping care for my 93-year-old dying grandma and hosting a bevy of extended family members, who came to catch up and spoil my daughter to no end. The visit (I don’t refer to it as a vacation because in more ways it was … Continue reading →