Tag Archives: power struggles

You’re Not the Boss of Me!

This is actually one of my favorite phrases of childhood. I can remember saying it myself on numerous occasions and, I admit that there are still times when I feel myself balking at being “told what to do” by someone and I want to bark, “You’re not the boss of me!” In my own family, my three strong-willed children have often bucked and resisted having anyone tell them what to do—whether it was a parent, sibling, or other authority figure. It seems to be natural for our children to want to be in charge of their own choices and their … Continue reading →

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

“Mama, can I sleep in this tonight?”, Tyler asked pointing to his Superman Halloween costume, complete with a muscled chest. I thought to myself, Certainly not! Then a voice in my head asked, “Why not?” Why not, indeed? So I told him he could. What’s the big deal anyway? The costume was no thicker than his pajamas. If I was lucky he would go straight to sleep without the usual nightly struggle. Sometimes as parents, we exert a lot of unnecessary energy on things that really don’t matter. Then we wonder why we’re so stressed out! Choose your battles, we … Continue reading →

Using Brain-Dead Phrases To Nip Power Struggles In the Bud

For parents who find themselves constantly engaged in power struggles with their kids, I have a technique that might work for you. It’s called, Using Brain-Dead Phrases. It’s a technique recommended in the book, Try and Make Me, by Ray Levy and Bill O’Hanlon. It is a way to let your child know that you are not going to engage in arguing with them or respond to silly questions. The authors report that this is an effective alternative to ignoring behavior because for some people it’s simply not in our nature to ignore things that bug us. There are several … Continue reading →