According to an article in the Sydney Morning Herald by novelist Jojo Moyes, and based on research from the ‘Family and Personal Relationships Laboratory at Heriot-Watt university in Edinburgh,’ watching romantic moves can be detrimental to marriage giving people an unrealistic view of relationships and marriage.
While common sense might tell us there is no such thing as the perfect relationship, the conclusion is that some people are far more influenced by what they see on film or read in books than they realize claims Dr Bjarne Holmes, conductor of the research. Films and books often tap into this whole concept of the perfect relationship, the soul mate etc.
To take one example from the research, 100 volunteers watched the movie Serendipity. Those who watched it claimed they were more likely after the movie to believe in fate and destiny. Mick and I saw it years ago. Watching it didn’t change our views about fate at all.
The conclusion seems to be from the research that those who watch cannot separate fiction from reality, so watching movies like Sleepless in Seattle, (which I loved) or Notting Hill (which I hated) can leave us with unrealistic expectations. But is that why people go to see romantic comedies? Or is it, as Jojo Moyes points out, that they simply want a couple of hour’s escapism from real life? I know for example when Mick and I go to the movies, we want to be entertained. It doesn’t mean we come away with unrealistic expectations of each other after watching the movie.
Mick’s never been real big on buying flowers. 
And I don’t expect them. When he does, it’s special. But he’s more likely to bring me in a special flower from the garden for my desk or find an owl to add to my collection or a special book he knows I want or show he loves me by encouraging words and helping around the house, like washing and wiping up when I need to get a blog written. That’s the every day romance.
So does watching romantic movies or reading romance novels give unrealistic expectations? Only if people can’t separate fiction from reality.
Please visit these related blogs
Keeping the Happily Ever After
Favorite Romance Movies- Part 2