As parents, we spend a great deal of our time and energy trying to make sure we raise our kids to be loving, caring, and contributing citizens. We struggle to impart some of our wisdom, experience, and values on our children and hope that we are doing a decent job with all of our parenting efforts. By the time they get to be teenagers, we may really feel a sense of panic about all the things we still need to teach and share with them before they fly the nest. With all this to think about and work on, we may actually forget to check in with our kids and find out just exactly what their plans are and where THEY want to go with their lives…
It is incredibly common for parents to have their own dreams and ideas about what they would like to see happen for their child. It can be quite painful and shocking when we realize that our child may have completely different plans for themselves. But, one of the jobs of the parent of a teenager is to find a way to make that adjustment and become a supporter and facilitator for our child’s own dreams—preparing them to take on the challenges of the life they choose (not the one we’d like to choose for them.)
It can be tough to keep up with a teenager’s changing whims and passions, but staying connected and trying to maintain an understanding of where the teen would like to go and what he’d like his life to look like is one of the jobs of the parent. While our teenager may seem as though she doesn’t want our guidance or input, we’re still “on the clock” and one of the ways we can stay connected and in tune with our teens is to keep up with their unfolding dreams for adulthood. Accepting that our teenager is making plans for his life, can help us to let go of our own dreams and intentions and begin to accept our child as a growing, independent adult.
See Also: Wrestling With Trust, Old Enough to Vote, and Treating Teenagers Like Adults