It’s not uncommon to hear parents of teens complain that all they do is spend time in their bedroom. The door closes and the next thing all you hear is music thumping. It can sometimes feel like your teen is closing the door in your face but most of the time, it is their way of escaping the world.
A couple of summers ago our family became foster parents to two young children. They lived in our home from June through September. It was during that time we began to call my oldest son’s room his “cave.” That’s because the foster children were always wondering where he was and so we would say, “He’s in his cave.”
The great thing about having more than one teenager is that you really learn a lot from the first one. When he began spending a lot of time in his bedroom I took it personally. I felt like he was rejecting me. I have since come to realize that it has nothing to do with me. It is where he feels safe and can escape the pressures and stresses of the world.
These days there are a lot of closed bedroom doors, having children in middle and high school. I walk past one and I hear him talking to friends on his Xbox Live. I walk past another door and I hear her talking on her phone. Upstairs I can hear the thumping of music.
I try to be respectful of their need to have some privacy and alone time but I always check in on them. I will knock on their door (I believe they deserve that) and pop my head in to see what they are up to. Sometimes I am invited in and sometimes I’m not. But I don’t let it get to me.
It’s my way of letting them know I am here…even if they are barricaded in their bedrooms. How do you feel about teens spending a lot of time in their bedrooms?
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