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Marriage Tips: Going Back to School?

Are you, your spouse or both of you interested in going back to school? If you are, that’s terrific, but there are a few things you both need to talk about before you dive back into the halls of a community college or a four-year university. First and foremost, congratulations to one or both of you. It can be tough when you go back to school once you reach adulthood and have a life, a family and a job.

Setting Your Priorities

When you want to go back to school, you and your spouse need to sit down and figure out what responsibilities are going to shift back and forth between you in order to cover the class time you may be spending. For example, a year ago, my husband took a series of express classes that put him in school Friday evenings and during the day Saturday and Sunday for three-week spurts, three months in a row.

With that kind of schedule, as spring approached, we had to balance out which of us would handle the lawn mowing. I took point for the three weeks he was in class and on the fourth weekends that he had off, he took over for it. This meshed with the first couple of years of our daughter’s life when I was in school and took a four hour Saturday morning class – despite not being an early riser, he got up early every Saturday morning to look after our daughter so I could get to class.

It’s important for the two of you to strike the balance evenly so that neither of you are feel taken advantage of. It’s equally important to avoid the assumption that your spouse will happily cover those responsibilities or needs – especially where kids and housework are concerned. Sure, I know my husband will help, but I’d rather talk to him about it and make sure we’re both on the same page.

Don’t Bite Off More Than You Can Chew

Going back to school is admirable, but overbooking yourself is really easy to do. You need to remember that a 3 credit hour class is likely one that you will attend twice a week for 60 to 90 minutes a class or one class a week for 3 hours. That’s time you need to manage your other responsibilities in order to set aside the time you need to attend class. But you’ll need to keep in mind that the average college level class requires that you spend 2 homework hours per one hour of class – so a 3 credit hour class is 6 hours of homework and study time.

So if you decide to take 2, 3 credit hour classes, that will be 6 hours of class per week along with 12 hours of study – see how that time commitment begins to add up? You want to avoid biting off more than you or your spouse can chew and digest in your day-to-day activities and responsibilities. If you haven’t been back to school in a while, go for one class only and be prepared to be a little overwhelmed. If you handle the balance between school load and life load well, great, but if you take two classes and find that’s too much, don’t be afraid to drop the extra class during the drop period to save yourself on the tuition and being overwhelmed.

Communicate With Your Spouse

Keep your spouse apprised of how things are going and be prepared to support them if they are struggling or worried that they aren’t doing well. The great thing about your spouse is that they can be your best support and study partners and they can help to keep you on track when you start to lose faith in yourself. So take advantage of it and keep them in the loop.

Are you or your spouse going back to school?

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This entry was posted in Advice and tagged , , , by Heather Long. Bookmark the permalink.

About Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago. They have a beautiful daughter who just turned five years old. She is learning to read and preparing for kindergarten in the fall. An author of more than 300 articles and 500+ web copy pieces, Heather has also written three books as a ghostwriter. Empty Canoe Publishing accepted a novel of her own. A former horse breeder, Heather used to get most of her exercise outside. In late 2004, early 2005 Heather started studying fitness full time in order to get herself back into shape. Heather worked with a personal trainer for six months and works out regularly. She enjoys shaking up her routine and checking out new exercises. Her current favorites are the treadmill (she walks up to 90 minutes daily) and doing yoga for stretching. She also performs strength training two to three times a week. Her goals include performing in a marathon such as the Walk for Breast Cancer Awareness or Team in Training for Lymphoma research. She enjoys sharing her knowledge and experience through the fitness and marriage blogs.