Space…that very modern word and somewhat modern concept that seems so hard to come by in family life. It doesn’t just refer to physical space (although that can be a big issue in family living), it can also mean just feeling like a person has room to maneuver and be his or her own person without feeling someone breathing down his or her neck. Ah, the problem of space…
I remember when my middle daughter was about three, she shared a room with her older sister at the time. She needed space. Between the constant battles and the clash of very different evolving personalities, she was feeling the pinch. Since we only lived in a small two-bedroom home at the time, there wasn’t any way to give her a room of her own. Instead, we took the mattress off her youth bed and she and I built her a little “fort” in the living room tucked in behind a large chair and a table. She could crawl back in there and be completely secluded (but I could still look in on her to make sure all was well.) We declared it her private space and no one else was welcome. After about two weeks of space and seclusion, she was ready to rejoin her sister in their joint room.
This was certainly not to be our last family battle with the issue of space. In fact, looking back over the past two decades, I would have to say that maneuvering for individuality and space—both physical and personal—has been one of the top struggling realities of our family life. Since I have no way of knowing if families with only one child still feel the squeeze of trying to carve out space for everyone, I’m just imagining that this is something most, if not all, families have to work with.
I’d love to hear other people’s suggestions for how they cope with the “I need space!” issue—ideas, experiences, and lessons that may have been learned through the struggles of daily living. I’m incredibly curious how multi-generational families (grandparents, parents and children) or really large families cope with issues of space—any words of wisdom for the rest of us?
See Also: How Much House Does Your Family Need? and Can a Family Have Enough Bathrooms?