As a parent there are so many times when we do not know if we do are doing or saying the right thing with our kids, or whether or not they are developing bad habits or behavior problems. When I am chatting with other parents, they often express concerns at an instance that happens with their kids and worry that it is indicative of something major. I think we need to remember that one (or even two) instance does not necessarily mean something huge is going on.
A temper tantrum at the supper table, or a power struggle in the grocery store–does not have to mean that you are a terrible parent, or that there are problems with your parenting choices. It may just mean that your child had a bad day, or you had an off day, or the child was overly tired, getting sick, crabby, whatever. It does not have to mean that something major is going on.
Even an argument with a friend or neighbor, or one night of not doing homework does not make a habit. I think as we parents can try to keep things a bit in perspective. By focusing on what is going on NOW and not projecting out into the future, I think we can keep things manageable. Additionally, just because a child “tries out” a new troublesome behavior that does not mean that we are bad parents who are failing. Look at it as a typical challenge and a chance to practice and develop your parenting skills. We won’t always get it right, and our children will continue to try out different behaviors–but it is probably more normal than abnormal. Of course, keep an eye out in case it does continue, and definitely try to figure out what is going on for a child that is acting out–but try to keep things in perspective too.
Also: Dealing with Behavior Problems in Public
Why is my Child Doing THAT? Understanding Misbehavior