If you are new to single parenthood, but have been a parent for a while, you might be surprised to find that the way you USED to do things doesn’t exactly work any more. It can be a bit disconcerting to find that life has changed so much that the old ways just don’t’ work any longer.
I have found that my role as a parent changed with single parenthood. Since I started out married and partnered, we both tended to “specialize” when it came to parenting and adult tasks–I didn’t have to do it all and there was someone who could “make up” for places where I was flawed or lacking. I could play a certain role and it worked really well to some extent. As a single parent, there is no one there to pick up the slack where I leave off so I have had to find new ways of doing things and expand my parenting repertoire to be tough, soft, yielding, and steady–all of those seeming paradoxes have to be covered by just one person.
For many single parents, it takes a while to get used to the new regime and the new atmosphere of your family. You may have been the easy-going parent, or the disciplinarian before–and now you have to learn other traits to balance that out. Certain types of discipline may have worked well before but now your family situation, your ability to regulate or follow-through or other realities may have changed and now you have to come up with new ways that work for your family as it is now.
Have patience with yourself and expect that as your family circumstance has changed, it is natural that what worked before might now longer be what you, your child, or your family needs. Take some time to try new things and figure out what works well now.
Also: Single Parent Families Don’t Have to Be Chaotic
Expect to Start Over Every School Year